About 12 years ago, when I was working in student affairs, I had the opportunity to take on the position of interim assistant dean of students. It also happened at a time when I was in the most time-intensive year of my doctoral program for counselor education (with the exception of actually finishing my dissertation). I worked with the campus fraternities and sororities, advising student government, supervising full-time staff for the first time, supervising master’s level counseling students, and taking PhD classes. I’m pretty sure I was also teaching an undergraduate-level leadership course and co-chairing the planning committee for one of the campus’s most significant annual events. To say the least, it was A LOT.
Somewhere in the middle of the year, I was in a supervision meeting with my supervisor/mentor, and we were talking about how many plates I had in the air during this time and how I dropped a few and those bounced but fortunately didn’t break. The conversation has long stuck with me. I still look back at the time, knowing I somehow managed it, but not quite how. And now, in my 40s, my perspective has changed greatly from my early 30’s. Now, I would have let some plates fall; better yet, I would have taken some down before they had the chance to fall.
Then, I was wrapped up in the voices that said I had to take it all on to be successful. Now, I know that approaching life and tasks in a more mindful, intentional way will serve me better in the long run. The voices of Hyper-Achiever (success is never reached) and Pleaser (making sure everyone else is taken care of) are still there. They still show up and have a party from time to time, but I have a power that I can tap into that gets me back on track.
When you feel overwhelmed by your spinning plates,, ask yourself which ones you could take down.
The plate that falls is generally the one we stopped paying attention to, but that doesn’t mean it’s the right plate to leave on the floor. How do we know if we are focused on the right plate?
These are a few of the questions I ask myself.
- Will this matter to me in 1 year, five years, ten years?
- Is what is on this plate a stepping stone to a goal I want to achieve?
- Is this goal something that aligns with my core values?
- Does this plate bring me joy, excitement, money, freedom, or whatever you desire?
- Whose voice is behind this plate? (Meaning is this from the voice of a saboteur like the Judge, Hyper-Achiever, Pleaser or from the Sage and a place of growth, learning, or empathy)
If you are coming up with a no or it is from the place of a sabotuer, take the plate down and focus on the ones for which you answer yes.
When negative feelings arise from taking the plate down, remind yourself that a Sabortuer just stepped in and gently but firmly show their ass the door.
Life is too short to worry about the possible broken plates, especially if they are the wrong ones.
