You may have heard the phrase “comparison is the thief of joy” A while back I was thinking about this phrase and for me realized that comparing myself to others impacted my confidence more than my joy. Right now, especially I find myself diving into the comparison vortex of social media to see “how much better everyone else is” at handling a pandemic and social injustices. Her bread turned out so much better than mine, he’s been on a walk every day, they seem so balanced, they are continuously posting about racism, and on and on. And with each comparison I question, “well why was I on the verge of tears all last week. Why am I not handling this as well? Should I be posting more than I am? What’s wrong with me?”
One place where can really have an impact on is when I start to compare my business to others, and the green-eyed monster of jealousy sets in. This monster tells me things like “you’ll never measure up to them, so why bother…” “Who are they to claim to be an expert in wellness?” and “You’ll never be able to make it in this business”. The truth is that I do have something to offer and it is unique enough to stand proud in a field of helpers. Clients have different needs and expectations and I am learning that I do not have to compare myself to others because what I offer is not in competition to them but fulfilling a different need.
With each comparison, I lose a little more of the confidence. I have to remind myself that “Damn it, I’m doing the best I can in every moment with the information and skills I have in that moment.” Being human is an ever evolving and learning process. Our hindsight will always offer the thought process of “why didn’t I do this…” but you have to remember that you didn’t have that knowledge at that time, or you were overwhelmed with emotions, or you made the choice that kept you safe in that moment. New information just means that you know different to now do different.
You see the trap of comparison, it is like stress or even anxiety, a little can be a motivator, but too much becomes a hinderance. And shoulding all over yourself only creates a block from moving forward and moving on.
So dear friends please be kind to yourself. Remember that you are on your own journey. No one has been where you’ve been, the lesson learned there are for you alone. Your current chapter is not the whole story and bonus, you have the ability to rewrite as you go along your journey.
Do you need some support in writing the rest of your journey? I can help you with those goals, check out my individual coaching opportunities.